Posts

CONSTRAINT

Title: The Power of Constraint : Sometimes, No Reaction Is the Strongest Reaction Have you ever felt the small stuff bugging you? I'm here to tell you that sometimes, silence speaks louder than any argument. I learned this lesson at the end of an 11-year relationship . Two memories from that time stand out. The first was a conversation with my therapist . She told me waiting around wasn't helping anyone; it was time to commit to leaving. There's never a "right time" for a thing like that. So, I started packing. I was about halfway through, loading boxes into my car, when my boyfriend finally noticed. "What are you doing?" he asked. "I'm leaving," I said, and kept going. He tried to stop me with an infuriating last-ditch effort: "You can't leave me, I'm worth $2.5 million." "Keep every last cent," I replied. "None of it was mine." I was so exhausted from our endless arguments. He had a way of twisting an...
Post a Comment
Read more

FORGIVENESS IS FOR YOU / LET IT GO

  Forgiveness: A Gift You Give to Yourself At first glance, the word forgiveness seems like it's about granting something to someone else—a blessing of acceptance, a response to an apology. We're most familiar with this idea: someone says "I'm sorry," and we reply, "I forgive you." But what if there's no apology? The truth about forgiveness is that it's less about them and more about you. It's not a transaction you make with someone else; it's a profound act of letting go . It's you releasing the hurt, resentment, anger, and betrayal associated with an incident that you felt deserved an apology but never received one. When we're overlooked, we often feel unable to move on. Instead of simply going on with our lives, we hold on to the event, replaying it, souring that person's name, and telling anyone who will listen, over and over again. All that stress, all that drama. Wouldn't it have been so much easier to just say, ...
Post a Comment
Read more

UNFINISHED BUSINESS

Unfinished Business When I left for college, I was certain I would never come back. My relationship with my dad was difficult, to say the least. He wasn't my biological father, but he was the male parent in my life and the primary disciplinarian. We were polar opposites. He was an accountant for AT&T—a man of numbers and logic—while I was all about art and writing. He was determined to "toughen me up." He was hell-bent on making sure I worked for everything and wouldn't get things just because I was an only child. I believe he also sensed that I was gay and didn't know how to handle it. He came at me even harder, maybe hoping to mold me into a man so i wouldn't become some "punk" as he put it. My escape was my acceptance into Loyola Marymount University with a scholarship as a dance major. I couldn't wait to get away from him and start my new life in Los Angeles. A Call to Return Fast forward ten years. I had moved back to Portland after coll...
Post a Comment
Read more